Friday, 20 January 2017

Just a thought..expressed as envisioned

With every passing moment, I like to believe, that he's here to stay. And then a drop trickles from the mound of my eye, burning my face and pulling me back to the salty truth. I walk and talk, consume and bathe, or rather I don't. Perhaps a doppelgänger, in my absence represents another 'me', to people around. And up there, I continue to run, turn, fall and run again, ascend the hill that takes me atop, where I meet him, see his face, talk and decipher his expressions as they change. We talk, laugh and cry at the same time, pour our hearts out to each other and nearly hold hands.And then comes an avalanche, pulling me away, back to the world, pacing as I lose my head. Everything twirls and twists and makes me see through the haze. Every morning, such is the case. The drops I mistook as dew, were actually my tears that rolled down, on the pillow that I envisioned as the mountain on which I stood. And then, I realised that the missing nonchalance in his expressions was due to the clouds that moved away, sometimes making me see his smile, sometimes tears. It feels like I ran whole night, and entered the mundane body to stop and start again, but play a different role. I begin to think that sometimes I'm not me. If I'm not with him, how can I be alive? How can I be 'me'?
There comes a storm and pulls me into disbelief. For a moment, I feel he's here to stay. And then I run in search of him, all over again! I feel the void he left behind, that burns me from within. And then begins my soliloquy, letting the world know how this solitude gets the better of me, each time,all day. I feel the scars that burn as my tears trickle down, wavering my urge to live and move on. I only live to meet him again, capture his expressions, and engrave his smile in my heart, forever. If only I could dive back into the depths of time and cling to him, like I did as a kid. Miss You NANU! 

-Richa Gupta

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